Tag Archives: mental-health

Something’s Got to Give

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HNL–LAS–OMA–DAL–BNA–MYR. Six airports. Four days.

Yes, some of those were just connections, but I still ended up sleeping in a different bed four nights out of five. Right now we’re in Dallas for a bridal shower, which meant my presence wasn’t exactly required. So I slipped away to my old pool for a swim, trying to shake off the travel rust.

That’s where I ran into an old friend who looked at me like I’d dropped out of the sky (and I guess I kind of did) “I thought you guys were in a different state! Don’t you get tired of traveling so much?”

I gave her a non-committal answer and turned the conversation back to her and the things that she has going on, but I thought about her question while I was working out. The answer is, unsurprisingly, both yes and no.

Travel is incredible. It brings professional opportunities, new places, and connections with people all over the country. But the instability that comes with it? That part can be exhausting. And yes, I fully recognize the privilege in saying that. Complaining about working in Hawaii and Myrtle Beach, or about driving our old car or having to borrow goggles because my new things is stashed in another state? These are very much first-world problems. Still, when you’re navigating early retirement, these are the kinds of challenges you eventually face.  Even for people not on the FIRE path, there’s a universal question here: how do we choose between competing priorities?

Work. The work of “adulting” we all have to do (Bills, Doctor’s appointments, maintenance of our possessions, etc.). Family and friends. Hobbies. There’s never enough time for everything. And too often, the culture in the U.S. pushes us to put our careers first, no matter what it costs the rest of our lives.

I assumed things would feel different once Katie and I retired. But the truth? We still have to make choices, and we still wrestle with whether they’re the right ones. I’m not immune to “one more year syndrome” — the temptation to take on another contract, another job, another project, especially when the offer comes from a cool place or an organization I’d love to help.

Katie and I are slowly learning how to say no. This year, I stepped away from my adjunct professor role, and she gave up her virtual teaching gig. Those were steps in the right direction. But is it enough? We’ve already talked about limiting how much contract work I take in the future even further, so we can actually enjoy all the fun places we’re trying on for size instead of rushing through them.

So here’s the question I’ll leave you with (whether you’re retired or still deep in the 9-to-5): How do you decide between competing priorities? Do you use a system? A rule of thumb? Gut instinct? I’d love to hear how everyone else navigates the trade-offs in their own lives. Drop a comment below or send me a message.  Your strategies might be exactly what I need or what someone else in this community needs to hear.

Stuff: The Other Four-Letter Word

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We’ve lived in our current home for twenty years. That’s two decades of books, birthday gifts, holidays, hobbies that didn’t stick, and random purchases that “might” come in handy… someday. Katie insists that compared to many of our friends, we’re practically minimalists—either because I’m too cheap to buy things in the first place or because I lack any sense of style when it comes to decorating.  If you know me, you know it’s probably both 🙂 

Still, two decades in one place adds up for anyone. And when you have a house, you have room to let things pile up. As George Carlin famously said, “A house is just a place to keep your stuff.” He had other words for stuff, but you get the idea. Now that we’re planning a life without a permanent house, we’ve had to confront a scary truth: something has to be done with all this “stuff.”

There are a lot of popular theories on the best way to downsize:

  • The Marie Kondo method: Does it bring you joy? (Spoiler: most of my stuff just brings me confusion.  What if I go back to a job I last held 15 years ago?  I might really want that…)
  • The one-year rule: If you haven’t used or worn it in the past year, it’s out.
  • The Storage Bin Challenge (my personal, unpopular idea): Everyone gets one big bin to keep items they value.  No-questions-asked. Then we swap rooms and decide what’s valuable in each other’s piles and throw EVERYTHING else away. This, I argue, removes the emotional attachment and speeds up the process. The family disagrees. Strongly.
  • The fire test: If the house burned down, would I pay to replace this?
  • If you didn’t think the fire test was dark enough: If I passed away, would the person cleaning out my house find any value in this?

For now, we don’t have to actually decide on everything. We’re keeping the house for our first year of nomadic travel, partly as a home base and partly as a very expensive storage unit. But just prepping for our older son to rent it this year has forced some tough decisions and a lot of trips to Half Price Books and the donation center.

So, what works for you? If you’ve downsized, what’s your secret weapon for letting go of stuff? Because one thing’s for sure—if this slow-travel adventure works out, we’ll need to learn the art of living with less.