One of the goals we set when we started our slomadic adventure was to find ways to maintain our existing relationships while also meeting new people along the way. We’ve discovered that this is easier said than done. It’s one thing to visit a new city, explore the sights, and enjoy the freedom of being somewhere different. It’s another to build relationships when you know you’ll be moving on in a few months.

I’ve written before about some of the challenges, but now that we’re about two-thirds of the way through our stay in Santa Fe, I thought it might be worth checking in on how we’re doing. As it turns out, we’ve had some successes, a few missed opportunities, and at least one approach to meeting people that I don’t think we can reasonably turn into a repeatable strategy…

Family Visits

Much like our previous stays in Omaha and Myrtle Beach, we’ve been fortunate to have family come visit us in Santa Fe. My mother and our youngest son both spent some time here, giving us an opportunity to show them around our temporary home. We visited some of the traditional tourist attractions, explored the surrounding area, and enjoyed spending time together.

One of the unexpected benefits of our lifestyle has been the opportunity to host family in different parts of the country. Instead of always getting together at our house in Texas, we get to introduce them to new places and share some of the experiences we’ve been having. And, of course, it’s nice to have familiar faces around when you’re living somewhere new.

Toastmasters

One of the more deliberate things I’ve done in Santa Fe is start attending local Toastmasters meetings. For those who aren’t familiar with it, Toastmasters is an organization focused on developing public speaking, communication, and leadership skills through structured meetings and practice.

Public speaking isn’t something I’m particularly afraid of. After all, I’ve made much of my living standing in front of groups of people for the past several decades. But that doesn’t mean there’s no room for improvement. I like the structured format of the meetings, the feedback, and the idea that even something you’ve been doing for years is worth continuing to work on.

There’s also a social benefit. It’s an established organization with people who are interested in learning and improving, which seems like a pretty good starting point for meeting interesting people. And because Toastmasters has clubs all over the country, I should be able to continue participating wherever we find ourselves next. I like the possibility of having a familiar activity waiting for me in each new city.

ChooseFI Meetups

We’ve also continued looking for opportunities to connect with people in the financial independence community. I attended one ChooseFI meetup in Santa Fe, although I managed to miss two others in Albuquerque. So my participation record isn’t exactly perfect.

The local groups don’t seem quite as active as some of the ones we’ve encountered elsewhere. I’m not sure whether that’s a function of population density, local culture, or just the particular people involved in organizing the groups. Still, I enjoy having the option. We’ve met some interesting people through ChooseFI over the years, and it’s nice to know that there’s a built-in community of people with at least one shared interest in many of the places we visit. Of course, knowing a group exists and actually showing up are two different things. That’s something I still need to work on.

Catching Up With Colleagues

One of the more successful approaches has been taking advantage of the fact that I work with consultants who are scattered around the country.

Since several of us have been working on projects in New Mexico, I’ve made a point of reaching out when I know someone will be traveling through the area. I’ve offered to meet for dinner, grab a drink, or just spend some time catching up. So far, I’ve managed to get together with four colleagues during their travels.

I’ve always found it challenging to maintain relationships with people I work with remotely or only see occasionally at conferences and school visits. We may collaborate regularly, but that doesn’t necessarily mean we get much time to talk about anything beyond the work itself. Being based in Santa Fe for several months has given me a convenient opportunity to change that. Rather than trying to coordinate another trip, I can simply meet up with people when their work brings them nearby.

These aren’t necessarily new friendships, but they are relationships worth maintaining.

Connections That Start Somewhere Else

We’ve also had some success meeting people in person whom we originally connected with through other activities. Katie attended FinCon in Palm Springs, where she met people from places like Denver and Kansas City. Some of them were planning trips to Santa Fe, so we arranged to meet for dinner when they were in town. Katie also spent another day hanging out with them later during their visit.

I like this model because it doesn’t require us to find all our new relationships within the city where we’re currently living. We can meet people at conferences, events, or through online communities and then take advantage of opportunities to get together as our travels overlap. In some ways, our mobility makes those connections easier rather than harder.

And then there’s probably the strangest example.

Katie (who is normally pretty introverted) struck up a conversation with a woman outside a restaurant bathroom. It turned out that she was another nomad, and the two of them had quite a bit in common. They’ve since met virtually a few times and continued getting to know each other. I’m not sure that hanging around restaurant bathrooms hoping to meet interesting strangers is a particularly sustainable networking strategy, but apparently it can work?

So How Are We Doing?

Looking back over the past couple of months, I think we’re doing better than I might have guessed.

We’re staying connected with family, maintaining relationships with friends and colleagues, and making some new connections through organizations, conferences, and occasionally completely random encounters.

What we haven’t really done is develop a large circle of local friends in Santa Fe. But I’m beginning to think that’s not necessarily the best way to measure our success. When you’re only living somewhere for a few months, it may make more sense to think about building a network of relationships that extends across different places. Some of those people we’ll see regularly, others occasionally, and some we’ll mostly stay in touch with online.

I’d still like to get better about attending local events and following through on opportunities to meet people. Toastmasters seems particularly promising because it’s something I can carry with me from one city to the next. But for now, I’m pleased with the progress. We’re meeting interesting people, maintaining important relationships, and finding new ways to connect as we travel.

And if all else fails, apparently Katie can just wait outside restrooms to strike up a conversation with random people 🙂